Saturday, September 5, 2009

Comfortable Shoes

The past couple of weeks I have been feeling euphoric and I really couldn't understand why. I can't recall that I've ever felt this way for so long. Don't get me wrong, I still feel a little beat up some times but it doesn't take me long to get over it. I've always been afraid to be happy too long for fear that something bad or disappointing is sure to follow. But I've been pushing that away and just living in the moment, I guess you could say.
I'm realizing that no matter what happens, God, my family and friends will get me through it.

My title is not talking about real shoes but how I've become comfortable with myself and where I am in life right now. I have some wonderful friends right now. It's taken me awhile to build up these friendships. I've found some real 'crazys' and for awhile I figured it was me. I am the crazy one because I can't keep friends. But that's not true. I've had to weed out the crazys before finding the good ones. I hope you good ones know who you are. I know I haven't always been the model friend but I have been working harder on that. I've had friends leave me and I don't want to do that to you all.

And I think that's what's playing a big part in my euphoria. I'm becoming stronger in my faith than I have ever been. I have always prayed and talked to God but I feel like my relationship with Him has become much closer than I've ever allowed it. I think this has allowed me to become more confident of who I am and allowing me to be a much better wife, mother and friend, I hope.

I cannot believe how fortunate I am to have my husband. It is so nice to be living with my best friend. We can talk about anything and I think it's just the fact that we do talk. Our favorite time of the day is at bedtime. The kids have finally fallen asleep and we can just sit and talk. No interruptions. This is our time. We catch up on what happened during the day. I cannot even imagine what it would be like if I didn't have him to talk to.... I've caught a glimpse of it and I don't like it... When we argue over something and both of us decide to give the silent treatment. It rips my heart to pieces and one of us usually gives in and starts talking to the other. It's never lasted longer than 24 hours because we are both acheing to talk to each other.

I'm also excited about the girls being in school again. But probably not for the obvious reasons. They love school. They love their teachers this year, again. And I'm just happy they are attending the same school two years in a row. We haven't got to do that since Madison went to Pre-K. I'm just happy that they were able to return to friends without making ALL new ones. I also was able to return to familiar faces. Even as a grown up that is one of the scariest feelings for me. Trying to make to friends!

So, here's to the good times and the bad because what would life be like if it was always predictable?

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.”~Arthur Rubinstein

4 What's On Your Mind:

Karen said...

What a beautiful post. I so understand about finding the right friends. It makes all the difference.

I too, have married my best friend. There is nothing in the world I would trade his friendship for.

Anonymous said...
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Setareh said...

That is so nice post.
will be friends!

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