Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Devil was in church THIS MORNING!

I woke up earlier this morning than most. I needed to wash my hair and fix it before the kids woke up and Sean left for work VERY early this morning. I made my punch last night for the reception after church so I wouldn't have to worry about that this morning. I woke the girls up, fed them breakfast, the older two got dressed and then dressed Dakoda while I got Hayleigh ready.
Sounds like everythings running smoothly, right? Yeah, I thought so too.
Loaded everyone in the car and I even remembered to put the punch in. We had enough time that I let Dakoda load a little bag of hers with a coloring book, markers and ponies. (What was I thinking? I know better than to let my kids take something fun to church!! I ALWAYS pay for it later!)
We got to church at 9:25 this morning and it doesn't start till 9:30. (Had the world ended?)
My little Angels helped me carry everything in and put the punch in the Fellowship Hall.
We arrived in time for the big girls to get their palm fronds and walk in with the other kids during the processional. (This is a big deal for us. We usually don't get to church until 9:35 or 9:40! )
After the processional M and T came and sat with me and the little girls. It was going great at first. Dakoda was coloring, Madison was sitting nicely, Taylor was coloring even though I had told her three times already it was for Dakoda. Hayleigh was quite and content with her sippy cup for.....oh....3 seconds.
Then, my children left and satan took over!!!
Dakoda had snuck change into her purse. Not just a couple of dimes and some nickles. Oh no, that would be okay. I'm talking $10 in pennies. At least that's what it sounded like when she turned her purse over on the seat and DUMPED. IT. ALL. OUT!!!! Pennies are rolling everywhere, Hayleigh scoots off my lap the fastest she's ever moved. The lady behind me is passing change back up as more falls off the chair. I'm about in tears.
During the prayer.....Taylor was practicing her thriller dance! I gave her 'THE LOOK' told her to fold her hands because we were praying. Hayleigh is head banging my lip! I look back at Taylor and she has slid down to the floor and is doing Gymnastics exercises!!!! Where is Dakoda you may be asking? Oh....wondering down the aisle TALKING. ON. HER. CELL. PHONE!!!!
I have to give Madison credit. She was sitting in the chair nicely. When we prayed she was standing with her hands folded and head bowed.
As soon as the prayer had ended I told the girls to gather their stuff because WE. ARE. LEAVING!!!!
Madison looked at me and said, "To go home?"
Me: YYEESSSSSSS!!!!!!! (In as much of a whisper as I could muster!)

And then......you all are gonna love this part!!
I thought that I could just SNEAK my kids out of church! Yeah, like that was gonna work!!
I had Hayleigh in my arm and nudged Dakoda out of our seats. Madison was following. Taylor chose not to listen to me at that time and proceeded to lay in the pew.
We almost made it to the door, Taylor decided to follow and I. STEPPED. ON. THE. BACK. OF. DAKODAS. FLIP FLOP!!
And DOWN SHE WENT!!! crying and carrying on!
EVERYBODY!!!! I MEAN EVERYBODY! WAS LOOKING AT US!!
I could not have drawn more attention to myself if I would have stood up during prayer and announced that WE WERE LEAVING!!

Madison held the door open. I set Hayleigh down in the hall. I went back to get Dakoda and her flip flops. Madison was still holding the door and Hayleigh was coming back in. (Are you kidding me? Really?)
All five of us made it out of the door and Taylor asked, "What are we doing?"
I lost it, tears flooded my eyes, I told her to go back in and get her coat and bible because we were leaving.
I had to go to the Fellowship Hall first and dump the punch in the bowl. Dakoda was crying because she didn't want to leave.
We made it back to the car and I loaded everyone in practically blind. I was crying so hard I couldn't see. My 'waterproof' mascara was running down my face.
I DID NOT yell at them though. They knew I was upset so they asked questions and with as much calmness as I could I answered their questions.

I've realized there are some changes I need to make with myself and by doing that.....I'm seriously hoping that my children will come back.

7 What's On Your Mind:

julie & joe said...

I'm so sorry. Sounds worse than my usual Sunday morning. I generally yell at my husband before Sunday school and then feel like a grouch. My child talks too loud and then I made the mistake of inviting Lighning McQueen last week and he almost traveled the whole width of the isle.....oh, my son battered a visitor with his paper palm leaf from Sunday school.

Sassypants Wifey said...

Aw well bless your heart for enduring that. You know what they say, "you can lead a kid to church but you cant make them behave" okay, so they dont say that, but they should. I feel like I miss a majority of what our Priest says because I am so worried about how loud my kids are... Hubs tells me I need to loosen up and that they are no louder than other kids, its just more obvious to me cause they are mine. (I dont know that I agree) Good luck the next time. It will work out one of these times.

Lazy Housewife said...

Oh my gosh, what a nightmare! I probably would have been in tears from the embarrassment, too. Hopefully the kiddos learned their lessons by seeing how upset the scenario made you.

Naomi said...

i know I should very bad for you (& I do!!!) but I have to admit your stories always make me laugh, not sure if its the actual events or your writing...either way they should be an episode on "The Motherhood"

but I am sure they felt bad when you were crying, and Im sorry they made you cry....

Amanda@Imperfectly Beautiful said...

I am sorry to admit that I almost fell off my chair laughing and choked on the leftover pizza I'm eating. I feel for you, really I do. I've been there. In fact, too many times to count. I am sorry that you were embarrased and had to leave. But thank you for making me feel normal and giving me some good ol' belly laughs!

~Amanda

p.s. I hope Satan returns your kids soon. Can you tell him...I want mine back too?

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Oh my goodness...I remember how Sunday mornings used to be when our kids were young...we were all in a bad mood by the time we got to Sunday School. Legare was a morning grump and Lorelai always argued about her clothes and hair...I would lose my temper and Hank would just shake his head. We definitely needed some religion by the time we got there.

LissaNaylor said...

Oh I am soooo very glad to read this! It makes me feel so normal!!! Sunday mornings are so crazy around here and church starts at 10:30 and I only have 1 kid! By the time we are going to church I really feel like I need Jesus! I am sure all the other moms out there were just smiling b/c they have been there too. I think that is good that you didn't yell at your kids- I commend you for that! Maybe sometimes just the quietness and the tears do more than talking to them! I will tuck that trick away for another time and think of you when I use it! Thanks Jessica!! Oh, by the way...Satan just returned my kid yesterday after 12 LONG days! I guess he got tired of her too! ha!

 
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